Saying hard things is an essential part of leadership, but we don’t always do so with grace. How can we learn to season what we say in person and online? And how can we develop an attitude of hospitality and welcoming into our everyday lives?
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In this episode of our Communication Series, Holly and I talk with Angela Sackett about saying hard things, asking tough questions, and showing hospitality. You’ll learn how to practically maintain relationships with your children, how to bring up hard topics on social media, and how to start a conversation with people who don’t know Jesus.
Angela’s Leadership Journey
Current Leadership Roles
Angela is the mom of five and believes her biggest leadership role right now is homeschooling her youngest two children. She also co-leads a women’s Bible study and writes and speaks at everydaywelcome.com.
Her Leadership Journey
Angela’s journey has been about rounding off the corners and taming down her “Ruler of the Universe” attitude. She’s known Jesus since she was little, but had many misconceptions about who God is and has had to learn about grace and mercy. Angela shares life events and the mentors who impacted the leader she is today.
Leading Your Kids
Leading your children takes humility. She’s wanted to break down strongholds by her own force but realizes that she can’t do that by human methods.“I need to look at myself in the context of who God is. I’m so little and He’s so big. And I so desperately need His help.”Click To Tweet
God has softened her heart to move away from being obsessed with the right rules, right boundaries, and the right curriculum so she can move toward falling in love with Jesus.
“If all I did was take [my kids] to the cross then I succeeded as a mama.”
Practical Ways to Maintain Relationships with Your Kids
Angela is learning that she doesn’t have to be in control, but she does have to fight for connection.
- Study your child to see where they’re struggling.
- Take one child to run errands with you.
Tools to Learn How God has Wired You
Angela loves these two resources:
She wants to deep dive into the Spiritual Gifts in the next year. Angela discovered that she’s gifted with creativity, is a motivator, and is not afraid to say hard things.“God is still working with me on trusting Him to take care of the results; it’s not my job to make it happen.”Click To Tweet
How to Speak Hard Truths with Grace
We chat about the challenge of saying the hard things with grace and love. When Angela is not resting in God, she cannot speak with grace because of fear: fear of man or failing, or a negative outcome. She will either spout off or stay quiet.
To combat ungracious speech, she:
- Prays over it.
- Opens her Bible and uses Scripture as her foundation before speaking.
How to Bring Up Hard Topics on Social Media
- Be humble.
- Set aside fear.
- Be prayerful about when to bring up topics.
- Think about the person on the other side of the screen.
- Remember the goal is heart change.
- Invite off-screen contact.
“The person on the other side of the screen is a person that Jesus loves.” – Esther Littlefield
Angela points out that it’s important to also be willing to disagree with people and to not shy away from that hard conversation.
“I’ve got to love them enough to be willing to risk that they are going to be angry with me.” – Angela Sackett
Hospitality, Mentoring, and Asking Tough Questions
Angela reminds us that Jesus was hospitable to all types of people.“I want to live a life that’s inviting to God and people.”Click To Tweet
- Read the Bible.
- Make time for people.
- Be willing to engage with others.
How to Initiate Conversations with People Who Don’t Know Jesus
- Approach every conversation as if people know Jesus.
- Call out God-given gifts in others.
- Remember that everyone is on a journey to know Jesus so think through how you can come alongside.
Practical Tips to Display Hospitality
Angela recommends that we don’t apologize when things aren’t “perfect” because it puts the focus on us and invites unrest. She also suggests offering something to bring comfort, e.g. water or tea.
How to Incorporate Mentoring with Hospitality
Angela reminds us that it takes work to pursue people. You have to want those relationships. To find a good mentor, she recommends:
- Praying for the right mentor.
- Being intentional about finding the right people.
- Bringing your kids along with you as you serve and expect your children to help as well.
Asking Hard Questions with Other Women
- How is your marriage?
- What is your heart behind what you post?
- What’s going on with your calendar? What can you let go of so you have the time to do what God’s calling you to?
- Are you believing God for His mercy?
- Are you accepting His grace?
- Are you giving grace to the people around you?
Angela’s Advice for Younger Leaders“You don’t have to have all the answers, but you’ve got to go to Jesus because He does.”Click To Tweet
You don’t have to fix it because He will.
It’s worth it to be brave and pursue people, even when you are scared.
Leaders Are Learners:
Other Episodes Mentioned:
Connect with Angela Sackett
Angela Sackett is a wife, momma, home educator, speaker, author and photographer (and her house is perpetually in need of a good dusting!). She is the voice behind EverydayWelcome.com, a lifestyle, recipe and devotional blog, and author of several e-books and courses on food, and hospitality, and living a vibrant life in Jesus. With great joy and preaching to her own heart, she encourages women to open their hearts and homes to God and others, living as salt and light right where they are.
Learn How to Hard Conversations with Confidence
If you’d like to learn how to initiate and lead hard conversations as Christian woman–even if you struggle with confrontation, aren’t sure what to say, and want to avoid hurting people in the process–then you’ll want to get on the waitlist for a resource I’m creating.
This will help you know how to approach hard conversations as a female leader AND give you a starting point of what to say during those hard conversations. If you are listening in real time (hearing this in Nov. 2019), this resource is coming soon, and you can get on the waitlist at ConfidentLeaderScripts.com.
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