Have you ever found yourself reeling from unexpected hurt and pain in your leadership and ministry? As Christian leaders, how can we find hope and healing when the unmet expectations and personal devastation goes beyond what we could have prepared for?
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In this episode, Holly and I talk with Kristen Joy about her personal journey through ministry hurt. She shares how this experience impacted not just her, but also her entire family. Kristen also shares how she found hope and healing after the ministry hurt.
We also dive into some of the things leaders can do to get and stay healthy. Whether you are in full-time ministry or not, this conversation is sure to give you a better understanding of how female leaders can be proactive in finding hope and healing after hurt.
Key Points Discussed:
- Kristen’s life & leadership journey [4:30]
- Why Kristen desires to support leaders who are hurting [10:02]
- Kristen’s story of experiencing hurt in ministry
- Additional crises in their own family
- Finding healing and help for herself [25:40]
- Impact on her marriage
- Lessons she has learned
- Healing from unmet expectations [36:06]
- Attending to whole person needs
- Watching for God
- Tension between deny yourself and pursuing your passions
- Learning to be open handed
- Why leaders don’t set boundaries [51:10]
- Forgiveness and healing [55:43]
- How churches can handle hiring & firing better [1:00:05]
Key Quotes from the Episode:
All quotes are by Kristen Joy unless otherwise noted.
- “Success requires a lot of humility, and a lot of giving up your own agenda.”
- “The beginning of healing was before it even happened.”
- “I had put all of these things–values I had, dreams I had, gifts and skills that I had–and I had put them in a box and put them away.”
- “Mental health and emotional health come in the form sometimes of all the small, daily choices that you’re making.”
- “If your hands are open, then whatever he chooses to place in them is a blessing. And whatever he chooses to take away is also a blessing.”
- “When boundaries are not there, it’s a recipe for disaster for the organization but also for the individual.” – Esther Littlefield
- “In the place of hurt… even though you can’t feel it and you often can’t see it, you are still His child… you are still loved… He is right there with you.”
Connect with Kristen Joy:
Kristen Joy is a chocolate-lovin’ wife, momma to 6, ministry leader, and wounded soul advocate. As a certified Biblical life coach, she is passionate about people learning to attend to their whole-person health. Growing up as a “PK” and then marrying a pastor, she also cares deeply for the health of Christian leaders and the church as a whole. She believes people best see the love of Christ and the power of the gospel when healthy Christ-followers lead well.
Other Episodes & Resources Mentioned
- Pastor’s Hope Network
- Recovering from Trauma, Why Leaders Need to Heal & How We Can Get (and offer) Support for Mental Health with Dr. Barbara Lowe
- Life Coach Certification with Elisa Pulliam
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Amen! Thank you so much for this, it touched on things that really hit home. How often we are dealing with hurt and instantly feel God has abandoned me…..but how amazing to know he is and was there all along. Wanting me to draw closer and have a deeper relationship with him. Praise God he is always in the midst of the hurt and pain. How amazing it is to know the God of the universe loves me.
My emails to “[email protected]” bounced several times.
My name is Ben Kamary from 222 Foundation. Roy Yanke of PIR Ministries suggested that we should connect with you.
We are currently putting ideas together to support spouses of our seminary student partners that we serve.
In addition to providing scholarships ($4,000-$10,000 per year), our mission at 222 Foundation is to enable future Christian ministry leaders to stay in the ministry, flourish and become leaders of leaders. Through primary mentors and subject matter experts, we provide each seminary student partner with skills and wisdom to help them succeed in specific areas of their vocational calling.
We are growing fast, and we are planning to increase the number of our student partners this year to 30-35. Accordingly, we have a strong desire to also mentor spouses as they are integral part of the ministry. We would like to learn more about your organization and hear some insights about how better we can design a program and serve our students and their spouses well.
Would you be available for a zoom chat sometime next week or the week of 4/4?