Do you ever struggle with setting aside the time, money, or energy needed to celebrate your anniversary?
There have been times in my 14 years of marriage that I have not felt like celebrating my anniversary, or that it’s been a struggle to put the effort into a celebration.
Perhaps you’ve been there, too – at the place where you’ve made it another year, but you don’t really feel like there’s much to celebrate.
- Maybe your heart is heavy from a loss in your life.
- Perhaps you and your husband aren’t even sleeping in the same bed anymore.
- It could be that you’re so busy with taking care of the kids and other family members that you feel like there’s no time to head out for a date night.
Even if all of that is true, I believe it’s still worth it to celebrate your anniversary.
Here are 5 reasons why you should celebrate your anniversary, even if you don’t feel like it:
1. It’s a Milestone.
In this culture where divorce is a common occurrence, just the fact that you made it another year means that you’ve hit a milestone in your marriage. Even if things aren’t perfect or the way you had hoped they would be, staying together for another year deserves a celebration.
[bctt tweet= “Even if things aren’t perfect, staying together another year deserves a celebration.”]
2. It’s a chance to connect.
Celebrating your anniversary can be a wonderful chance to re-connect as a couple. If life has been crazy and you feel like you can barely come up for air, taking time to celebrate as a couple can give you a break to connect and communicate with your husband.
3. It’s a chance to reflect.
One thing my husband and I often do on our anniversary is reflect over the past year – or even the past few years. By looking back, we are able to see how far we have come.
Reflecting gives us hope for the future when we consider some of the obstacles we’ve overcome as a couple.
Looking back is not always a bad thing – by reflecting and remembering, it can remind us of the strength we have in our marriage and encourage us to keep going.
4. It’s an excuse to get away.
Yes, get away! So many times, I talk to moms who tell me that their child is 5 or 6 years old, but they have not gotten away since before the child was born.
Certainly we all need to make our own parenting decisions, but I strongly feel that it is healthy – even necessary – for couples to get away once in a while without the children.
Your anniversary is a perfect chance to do that. Especially if you are celebrating your 10th or 15th anniversary – this is a great opportunity to go away for the weekend, or even longer.
Yes, you’ll need to plan ahead and save up some money. But it is SO worth it. Investing in your marriage can make all the difference.
One of our fondest memories as a couple is when we went away for our 10th anniversary. We went to the White Mountains in NH and stayed at a lovely bed & breakfast. We got a good deal which included both dinners and breakfasts, so overall the cost was quite reasonable. We enjoyed the time to just focus on our marriage and not have to worry about the responsibilities of home and work life.
If you have an anniversary coming up, I encourage you to consider getting away as a way to celebrate.
5. It’s a time to look towards the future.
While looking back can be beneficial for your relationship, so can looking ahead. Taking a chance at least once a year to discuss your hopes and dreams for the future can be really fun.
This is especially true if you are in a difficult place in your marriage right now. If you’ve had some parenting challenges or you’ve been feeling unloved, taking time to think about how you’d like your relationship to look in the future can be an invaluable process. You may find this sparks bits of hope that you didn’t anticipate.
[bctt tweet= “Take time to think about how you’d like your relationship to look in the future.”]
Whether you are super excited for your next anniversary, or you’re just praying you’ll make it until then, I encourage you to set aside time to celebrate your anniversary.
Remember where you’ve been. Acknowledge where you are. Anticipate what’s to come.
If you are finding yourself in this place of having some struggles in your marriage, and you want to begin focusing on what you can control, then I’d like to invite you to grab my marriage devotional.
It’s a 5-day marriage audio devotional where you can begin restoring joy and happiness in your life and marriage again!
Our five year anniversary is next weekend so this reminder comes at a very timely moment! <3
Oh that’s great! Happy Anniversary!!
To celebrate I love to get away just the two of us. Even if we do nothing in particular other than dinner, I just like spending the time alone to enjoy each other.
Lea, that is the most important thing, right? Just being together!
Year 20 past without much thought and now year 21. We haven’t lived as husband and wife for so long I can’t remember. I try talking about it and he just shuts down or yells and screams to avoid dealing with it. I question: is he gay, in another relationship???
The marriage has been over for years but for some reason we just stay in this dead marriage. I don’t want to live like this anymore but my relationship with God has made it more difficult to just walk away.. Praying for some answers, life it too short to be so unhappy!
I’m sorry Kimberly. That sounds very difficult. Have you tried counseling?
Our 28th anniversary is Thursday, but as soon as his job sends one more paper, he will have everything to file for the divorce he wants so bad.
I’m so sorry to hear this! I am sure this is so difficult for you. I will be praying for your situation, Trina.
We will be celebrating 30 years this September ….your right, it’s not always easy and sometimes you don’t feel like celebrating….but this year I’m so grateful for how the Lord has preserved us ….we may try to get back to block island in RI where we honeymooned…. So romantic!! Just a walk on the beach and a beautiful dinner will take me back to that first week together!!! what a blessing my marriage has been in hindsight, I’ve learned so much…. Remember marriage is a reflection of ourselves… It’s not always easy, but so worth it…
Congrats Kim! That is so amazing. I hope you are able to get back to where you spent your honeymoon – sounds glorious!
I love this! We aren’t very good at this. 27 years have flown by. I can’t wait for that one when we finally get away! ☺️
“Your marriage is a gift from God to you. The quality of your marriage is a gift from you to God” a quote from a counselor I will never forget. Sometimes the pain in our hearts blinds us to think that there’s nothing to celebrate. Today my 19 year anniversary we have not acknowledged. So sad. Yes we have made it another year…
because I’m not perfect, I prayed for forgiveness of my hurtful heart that caused me to feel so much hate. I felt like I could repent if well I was not repentant. I harbor a grudge. The next morning I felt such remorse for my behavior that allowed me to be sorry and repent. Then I ask to feel love in my heart for my spouse so I could heal. Because of Gods Atonement I know it’s possible. But it is I who re lives the hurt that I don’t allow my self to heal.
Thank you for creating this post.
6 years ago my husband decided that it was not necessary to celebrate our anniversary not even a simple dinner to remember. That particular year his mum was visiting us for an extended period of time and he had said he’d rather spend the day with her. Needless to say I didn’t ever get to enjoy the simple country picnic I had planned and never will. The years pass by and the romance in me has not died. He did however clip my wings that day.
Marie, I’m so sorry that is happening. I pray that you and your husband can find a way to reconnect.
I used to be such a romantic, always trying to express my love and feelings; my husband was just the opposite. Six years in my marriage, I don’t feel it anymore. My anniversary is in a week’s time and I am already thinking of ways to avoid him that day.
My Husband & I Just Celebrate our 25 year Anniversary. Eating at very Nice Restaurant then the Phone rang him and his bother were Texting dinner . That just routine the mount
I’m sorry that happened Cara. Have you talked to him about how this makes you feel? It’s certainly important to focus on one another when you are out on a date, but our phones can make that more and more difficult.
Do you feel it is important to celebrate anniversaries on the date or close to the date of the anniversary? Our anniversary is so close to Christmas, it is financially a strain to do so, I still want to celebrate it, but my husband thinks it does not matter if we celebrate it in June instead of the beginning of January. I might be being petty, but I think its an important day and should be treated as such.
I don’t feel like celebrating our anniversary because its the same day i learned when my husband was cheating on me. I threw away all our wedding pictures.
Girle, I am so sorry to hear this. I pray that you are able to get support and help during this difficult time.
Gina, personally I don’t believe it has to be on the actual date. There have been many times when my husband and I have celebrated on a different day or even during a different month. I think it’s about taking time to remember and celebrate. However, I think it’s important for you and your husband to decide together how to handle it, and I’m sure others feel differently than I do.
We just had our 29th Anniversary, I don’t every remember truly celebrating. I don’t even remember the last time I received something as simple as a card.
We just had our 40th anniversary. Did nothing! I thought he was going to take me out for dinner. He came into my sewing room that morning and said, “I was wondering if….” I thought it would be to ask me if I wanted to go out for dinner. Instead it was to see if I could sew a button on his pants. By the time supper arrived, he noticed nothing was on the table and I didn’t have plans to cook for him. He then asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. By then, honestly I was was too upset. I had made a few attempts earlier to plan some get away and there was always an excuse. I did end up buying myself a bracelet and earrings because I knew I was the only person I could rely on for some compassion. No acknowledgement from my kids. I have always been on the back burner making sure everyone is looked after. For one milestone birthday, I helped my son paint his fence. I have missed out on an out of town family wedding because my daughter-in-law was expecting. Frankly, I feel like a doormat at times. I have a milestone birthday coming up. I just may go somewhere on my own. Am I being unreasonable?